(Before this story, go out and find a large rock--heavy enough to be hard to hold but not so big that you can't carry it. You might want to get enough tiny rocks to give to the students in the class as well. They can take these small rocks home as a reminder of today's lesson.)
The Story--
I'm a worrier.
What is a worrier? Someone who worries or frets about everything. That's me! What is a worry? A worry is like a ROCK. It weighs you down, and keeps you depressed and upset. A worry is a BURDEN. A burden is something heavy that you carry, just this big rock! (hold up the large rock)
Besides being a worrier, I hate change. I like when things go along just the same. That doesn't mean that I want every day to be exactly the same, but when I'm happy and I'm feeling safe and in control of everything, I want things to stay that way. I don't want it to change because I'm comfortable that way.
So, in the middle of last year, something big happened at the school where I work. My principal did something very bad. He hit and girl with his car and he had to resign from being the principal of our school. I liked him as our principal. He was a good boss and a nice man. I was comfortable and happy at that time, even though my job wasn't perfect.
We had to get a new principal, but they didn't want to hire one until the end of the year, so the Board put in a substitute principal. Things went along pretty much as normal for the next few months because the vice principals filled in alot and they knew how things had been.
Then, at the end of the school year, we found out who our new principal was going to be. He had been in the military. He had worked in MD and was currently working in DE. Of course, that was when the stories started going around. "He's hard to work with," on person said. "He won't allow you to wear certain clothing to school," said another. "He doesn't like people who don't follow the rules," said someone else. And so on and so on. The RUMORS kept flying about how hard he was to work under and I was TERRIFIED!!
My mind raced with thoughts: "What was he going to be like? What classes would I be teaching next year? Would he be difficult to work with? Would he understand my health issues? Would he make us wear certain clothes to work? Would he fuss at us all the time? Would I get fired? Would he change my schedule? Would I be teaching something I had never taught before? Would I be in the same classroom as last year? Would I even had a classroom or would I have to travel from room to room for every class? What if I didn't have the supplies I needed?"
I started having nightmares. I made myself literally sick. I obsessed about it all the time. I cried. I looked for a new teaching job at a new school, but that would be a change too. I worried and fretted. I talked to some of my co-workers and we formed a little worrying group who worried together. Everytime we heard a new RUMOR, we would share the info and worry some more. I even missed church because I had an upset stomach and a headache from being awake until all hours of the night.
So, if worrying is a burden and burdens are like this rock, I was carrying this rock with me every where I went.
People kept telling me not to worry. They said everything would be all right. After all what will worrying get you? If I worried hard enough would that change the new principal or get my old principal back? If I worried alot, would my fears go away? If I worried alo, would I change anything? NO!! Because worrying only occupies our MINDS.
People told me to pray about it and give it to GOD. OK, yes, I should do that.
So, I would give it to God. (Put the big rock down) Yes, God can carry my burdens. He will take my worries away. He will carry this rock for me! I would say, "Here, God. I don't want to worry about this. I know You've got it handled the way you want it to be, so I'm going to stop worrying about it and trust that you've got this for me."
Well, those were really nice WORDS. The problem was, every time I gave God my worries, I would forget and start worrying again. (Pick up the rock again) Sometimes, it lasted a whole 60 seconds before I started worrying or picked up my burden again. Sometimes it was even less than that. Sometimes I might even stop worrying for 15 minutes (put the rock down again) but I always took my worries back. (pick the rock back up). And God would GIVE THEM BACK TO ME! Why did he do that? Why didn't he just take my worries and not give them back? Well, because part of giving something to God is that he gives us a CHOICE. WE can leave our worries with him and TRUST that he will take care of it or we can keep worrying because we don't REALLY trust that God will Do the best thing for us. What a terrible thing to say to God! "I'm taking my worries back because I don't trust you and I'd rather run around getting sick and being upset and worrying than give them to you."
In reality, God is the ONLY one who can help us! And if we can't trust him, we can't trust anyone. So I kept thinking that if I only worried HARD ENOUGH, I could change things. And God would LET me do that! He kept letting me take my rock back. I coudln't get it through my thick head that worrying was not going to CHANGE ANYTHING! Only God could do that. So, God and I would play the game all summer--I have him the worries (put down the rock) and then I would take them back. (pick the rock back up). God doesn't ever FORCE us to trust him. He gave us free will so we could make our own decisions. Even if it means we suffer for it. It's our choice.
I'm sure he was thinking, "What a silly girl! If she'd just give me her worries for good and trust me, she would have a much happier summer!" As it was, my summer was miserable. We didn't go anywhere; we didn't do anything. I just worried my summer away.
So, when it was time to go back to work in August, guess what? I was TIRED (it's hard to carry around such a big rock all the time)--I wasn't getting enough good sleep because of all the bad dreams I was having. I was ANGRY and RESENTUL because I had spent my whole summer vacation worrying. And it hadn't CHANGED a THING!
We got our schedules the first day and I was teaching mostly the same classes that I taught last year. Some teachers were teaching things they'd never taught before and they would have to do alot of extra work to make new plans, but I came out okay.
Then, we met with the principal. The first thing he said was "DON'T JUDGE TOO QUICKLY." He meant that he was new and things may be changing, but if you start off with a bad attitude, you may not even realize that some of the changes may be good/for our benefit in the long run. He showed us ten short videos about people who judge too quickly and were wrong. I laugted ALOT! (I didn't EXPECT to be LAUGHING on the first day of school!! I was surprised!)
Did the whole school year go smoothly? No, it did not. But it wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. But had my worrying changed anything? NO! If I had given this to God, would it necessarily have changed anything at my school? Maybe not. But what wouldhave changed was my SUMMER and my ATTITUDE and My HEALTH and my NIGHTMARES and HOW I USED MY TIME.
You see, God doesn't MAKE us trust him. We have to do that on our own. He WANTS us to trust him. But he gives us a CHOICE. In the end, my worries gave me nothing but upset. If I had let God KEEP my rock, maybe I would have had a much better, restful, healthy, fun and stress-less summer. But I won't know that. I can't go back and do it better now. I can't go back and do it differently. So, should I WORRY About the past and all the fun I missed out on? NO NO NO NO! That would just make me miserable all over again.
I don't think that God invented worrying. I think Satan invented worrying. There's a good reason why he invented it too. First of all, while I was doing all this worrying, I wasn't able to focus on God, study my lessons, read my Bible and pray. Not like I should have been doing. Worrying separates us from God because we aren't TRUSTING him to take care of the situation. If Satan can get us to NOT TRUST God, he wins! Plus, if Satan can get us to forget to read our Bibles, do our lessons and pray, he wins again! Wow! A double whammy! So Satan WANTS us to worry so we focus less on God.
Secondly, what a slap in the face worrying is to God. In reality, we are saying to God "We can handle this better than you can. So let us worry about it." Is that a nice thing to say to God? No! Believe me, he CAN handle things a WHOLE LOT better than us, even on our best days! We can't do things that God can do--and he wants the BEST for us always! If Satan can convince us to think we are better at handling things than God--he wins. And we are miserable. And God is sad.
In the end, worry changes nothing EXCEPT our relationship with God. There is a verse in the Bible that says we should cast "all your cares (worries) upon him, for he careth for you." The Bible actually tells us to GIVE OUR WORRIES/ROCKS TO GOD and he will take care of things because HE LOVES US!! But notice that verse says that we first have to do the work of GIVING our cares and worries to him. He'll keep giving them back to us, because he is not going to force us to trust him.
So, I learned a big lesson this summer. And I'll probably have to be reminded again in the future. I probably won't be able to stop worrying forever. I think this is one thing God will be working with me on because I'm kind of hard-headed. But if I can remember this very hard, not fun summer, maybe next time, I can give him my worries for a little longer--until I can turn them over to him entirely. Then, Satan will lose the battle and I will be able to focus on God and trust him ALL THE TIME, because he cares for me.
There's a song that goes like this:
He careth for you
He careth for you
When the WORRIES and CARES of this life
Seem to block out the rays of his light
Never forget
Never lose sight
For he careth for you
For he careth for you.
